To Be or Not To Be?

Hello Edsters,

When interning with twenty-some other girls, I have found it to be a great challenge to make myself standout as an intern and get the most out of my time at the magazine. Even though I have tried some tricks up my sleeve to project my ambition for my internship – such as introducing myself to all of the editors and assistants, being the first to volunteer for a not-so-thrilled-about task, and even arriving early while staying late – it seems as if I’m still a number instead of a name. I don’t know about you, but for me, this feeling is a tad bit more than just discouraging. It’s a little disheartening as well. I knew before I made the move up to the Big Apple for the summer that it was a necessity for me to develop a thick skin. I knew this would just be a part of the job. Despite the fact that I'm absorbing any negative criticism and turning it into positive motivation, I'm trying to decide if the magazine industry is truly for me.

To imagine a New York City internship at a fashion magazine in your head, you tend to play out glamorous images and of course a once-in-a-lifetime experience. Or at least that’s what I did as soon as I found out I got the internship last fall. Granted, I knew there would be some tough days and long nights – I mean hello, welcome to the fashion industry! – Yet I never considered the kind of business that tends to take place behind the glossy pages we flip through each month. While the glitz and glam is certainly prevalent, there's also the side of cattiness that I'm not used to, nonetheless fond of.  

Don't get me wrong, I'm not the type to stray away from challenges. I've learned throughout previous internships how important it is to roll with the punches and use any criticism as fuel for your fire to keep going. It's the mistakes you make that allow you to grow with each experience. And yet sometimes the true benefits of an internship is that it's this time you are able to find out what you do and do not want to do in life. Let's face it, there's nothing more eyeopening than that.

Since I promised to exploit the good and bad throughout my internship, I feel obligated to express these emotions. Lately, I’ve found myself wondering if this industry is really my true calling. Throughout my continuous contemplations, there is one thing I know for certain, and that is that I love and belong in fashion. It’s my drive. It’s my passion. It's what I love. But as the days keep passing and the summer clock keeps ticking away, I’m finding myself envisioning another place in fashion for me, instead of the magazine world. I must admit, these thoughts are extremely uneasy for me since I’ve visualized working in a fashion magazine for quite some time now. So to have a reality check this close to graduation is more than just unsettling – it’s scary!

Therefore, I want to know your thoughts! Has any of you ever been let down by an internship? Or found yourself somewhere you know isn’t for you? Any advice or suggestions will be greatly appreciated and I assure you I will keep you updated as I continue to find my way in this crazy world we all know and love: fashion!

Until next,

Fashion Intern